The Art of Listening

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(Found on kushandwizdom.tumblr.com) via Pinterest


I saw this quote on Pinterest some time ago and it really resonated with me.  It occurred to me that listening, truly listening to someone, is really an art form.  One that many of us try to practice but few ever master.  As someone who has been constantly interrupted throughout my life, having someone really listen to me is amazing.  By listen I mean they just listen to what I have to say, whether I am explaining something, venting, or just relaying information.  There is no attempt to jump in with their opinion, no need to offer their experience, no changing the subject to something they would rather talk about.  To be truly, unselfishly listened to is a joy.

This does not mean that someone has to be the victim of a greedy talker.  A greedy talker is someone that just wants an audience-it doesn't matter who.  They can just get so absorbed they go on and on about themselves, their problems, their accomplishments.  Greedy talkers don't care if you are busy, if you don't feel like talking, or if maybe it's not appropriate for you to be hearing what they have to say.  At one time or another, many of us have been guilty of being greedy talkers, just so we can unburden ourselves of gossip, secrets, or because we feel we have things that we want to talk about but no one special to tell them to.  The seatmate on the airplane that goes on and on about their family, the person in front of you in line that complains about the store and the employees, the relative, friend, or neighbor that calls you on the phone to tell you all about everyone else's problems and their own.  These are greedy talkers.

People who half listen are just as bad.  These are people that agree to listen to you but constantly look at their phone, absently say "mmhmm" to everything you are saying, or quite obviously tune out. This could be because you are an actual greedy talker and not aware of it ;)  But it could also be because these people make a half assed attempt to care and just fall short.  This is just as maddening as being interrupted constantly.

We all want to be heard; we all want people to listen to us, at least occasionally.  Conversation should be 50/50.  Someone that asks you, "How are you?" or " What did you do today?" or something of that nature and just sits and listens as you reply without feeling the need to add anything, compare anything, or challenge anything, is truly a blessing.  I hope I have been that for some people-at least I aspire to be that.  And I have had some people do that for me and I am thankful.